#wedding and romance reality tv

[orphancookie69]

Around The World: Love Is Blind!

There is a new season of Love Is Blind on Netflix right now! It is crazy how long its been out, but also, its done some traveling! Where have you traveled to in watching it? 

Do you believe Love Is Blind? The grand social experiment that is love of the modern day, brought to you on TV. Is it a show you would go on? 

Love is Blind (US)

4 seasons, currently, as of 2023. The most seasons, the start of it all. The continuation. I love that its still going, even though there are a lot of losses in any round of the experiment. 

Love Is Blind (Brazil)

2 seasons, started in 2021. I normally really like anything set in Brazil but this is probably my least favorite location. Not sure why. 

Love Is Blind (Japan)

1 season, started in 2022. The setting the engaged couples meet at for the first time is probably my favorite out of all of the ones I have seen so far. Solid season, two couples I believe make it. 

Love Is Blind (Sweden)

Next location to come out, most likely in 2023 or 2024. I am totally looking forward to some european delights! 

Do I believe Love Is Blind? Sort of. I worry, that if you track the “success rate” of the couples that come out of it, you typically end up with one or two that make it long after filming is done. Some seasons even see divorces happen around the one year anniversary post filming. Is there a place for love that blinds someone in this world? Inquiring minds want to know. 

[aroaessidhe]

2023 reads // twitter thread

D’Vaughn and Kris Plan A Wedding

Romance about two lesbians on a reality tv show where they have to pretend they’re engaged and plan a wedding in 6 weeks

one is a butch influencer, and one using the show to come out to her family

[cheyisagirlkisser]

Blue Collar Abby x Fem! reader HCS

—CONTAINS 18+ CONTENT!—

Blue collar Abby who loves to spoil you. She may not be rich, but best believe she’ll keep her girl happy. She’ll pay for you to get your nails done especially because she says, “my baby looks so gorgeous with a set of pretty nails.”

Blue collar Abby who asked you to move into her apartment so she could come home to you everyday. You have your own job, but you get home way earlier than she does. She works long hours, so getting to see you doing something cute like cooking for her or watching tv on the couch makes her long days worth it.

Blue collar Abby who hates cats. Abby’s more of a dog person, so naturally, when you BEGGED to go to the shelter and pick out a cat, she said no at first. She immediately changed her mind when she saw that cute downcast look on your face and the next day, you had an orange cat running around the house.

Blue collar Abby whose favorite thing is the nights she can spend with you where you just watch cheesy romance movies SWEARS she hates(she cried during Titanic and The Notebook) and eat take-out with you. A box of orange chicken and fried rice and her sweet girlfriend beside her is enough to make her feel like she’s winning in life.

Blue collar Abby who absolutely adores you. She is exhausted at times and spends unfortunately hours away from you, but when she can, she’ll worship you. Not just in sex, either. She loves pulling you onto her lap and admiring that cute flustered face you have. She’ll rub her roughened hands all over your hips and waist, whispering in your ear about how “you’re such a sweet girl.”

Blue collar Abby who does love sex, too though. I see blue collar Abby as not a stone-top but loves to give. A lot. She’ll let you ride her face until you physically can’t anymore, tease your throbbing cunt with a vibrator but never for too long because she just doesn’t know how to deny you. She can’t find it in her to tell you no. She loves using a strap-on on you because she is really fit from her job and feels extremely skilled with it. She’s active too, so her stamina is unmatched. I just imagine her even attempting to let you ride her strap-on and she can’t stay restless for long, so she’ll buck her hips up, eliciting a strangled moan from you.

Blue collar Abby who is mostly a stone-top because sometimes she does need a little attention, too. If she’s had a long day, you’ll catch on to her needs and cheer her up by letting her grind her cunt all over your face. She loves the sight of you on your knees, it’s a rare one but it truly does drive her crazy. Sometimes, she’ll fall asleep after and feel so bad about it, even though she was so exhausted that day. On those occasions, you’ll get some mind-blowing morning sex before she has to leave for work. She’ll always take care of you.

Blue collar Abby who really wants you as her wife. She wants to propose with a ring you’ll love and be able to help you plan the wedding of your dreams. You’re her princess, and all she wants is to make your dreams happen. She’s saving up, half-way there right now. All she wants is a future where she can provide everything for you and spoil you rotten. She daydreams at work about adopting or finding a sperm donor and you being her beautiful wife.

Blue collar Abby who finally reaches her goal, and takes you out to this nice restaurant. You look all pretty and she knows the moment’s perfect. After dinner’s over, she’ll walk you around this botanical garden and when you’re not paying attention, she gets down on one knee and reveals the most beautiful ring you’d ever laid eyes upon. It wasn’t some standard diamond ring, either. It was something that was tailored just to what you loved, the most perfect ring just for you. Of course, you said yes, and all those day dreams about seeing you in a beautiful wedding dress are a reality.

[redvelvetcupcakes21]

I feel like Josh wouldn't be surprised about Buck being bi but he would definitely want to celebrate about Buck coming out....

Buck was not expecting to see Josh at 930 am outside his door with two ice lattes in a coffee carrier and a bag of donuts from Birdies.

"Josh, uh- what- what are you doing here? Did we have plans or something?" He asked worriedly as Josh walked through his door, he sensed before seeing Josh's wry smile that this wasn't exactly going to be a social call.

"Oh no, but you owe me Buckley." He set down the drinks and bag, pointing to Buck with an expression akin to annoyance. "You mean to tell me that despite you and I texting every other day about reality TV shows and how influencer should pay extra in tax for making traffic crap and are also in three separate group texts together, you didn't think to tell me "hey Josh, just a heads up, I'm dating a man who looks like he just walked off a cover of a dark romance novel"?"

Buck smothered a laugh behind his fist, he had seen how shocked and annoyed Josh had looked when he and Tommy had came into Chimney’s hospital room. He also saw Hen, Karen, and Josh eyeing them with what Tommy mentioned felt like he was going to have to get ready for multiple shovel talks.

"I-I thought about coming to you but I just wasn't sure who to talk to first, if I had to." Buck explained as Josh pulled the dozen of donuts. He figured Josh was actually upset when Josh slapper his hand as Buck was trying to get to the PB&J bacon donuts.

"Nope, that one is mine." He pointed at Buck's face, "I get to enjoy my donut while you tell me how you two met because now I get to live vicariously through my friend as I stay perpetually single."

Buck rolled his eyes as they both took a seat at the kitchen table. "Aren't you dating a doctor?" Buck asked teasingly, sipping on his iced latte happily as he watched Josh get slightly more irate.

"Yes, but I didn't bring him to Maddie’s wedding. Clearly my version of dating is different than what you and the Hot Pilot have going on." He paused and arched a brow at Buck. "Also, did I hear correctly that that was your third date with him?" Josh asked incredulously.

Buck gave out a flustered "I mean....technically I-I guess you could say it was our....second date?"

Josh pulled the cookie monster donut away from Buck's grasp. "C’mon man!" And pushed the plain glazed donut towards Buck.

"You get the plain till you tell me everything Buckley." He tapped on the table impatiently. "Spill."

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

You seem like an incredibly well read person, plus someone with a lot of insight into intimacy because of your work. So, in light of your romance book reviews, which are an absolute highlight on your patreon, do you have any insight into what is needed/suggested for a good romance novel?

g o d this is so fucking hard and also really fun to chew on. I want to preface this by saying this is ENTIRELY subjective and based completely on what I *PERSONALLY* find that I enjoy in a romance. this isn't, like, an objective guide on how to write a romance that doesn't suck. that doesn't exist because people like different things, and I'm speaking from one perspective.

also I should say that my preferred flavor of romance novel is solidly contemporary. I haven't read many historicals, certainly not enough to opine well on them, I don't do those mafia dark romances or whatever the fuck, and I've barely dabbled at all in any kind of fantasy romance, whether they're full high fantasy or witchy urban fantasy stories. (although I'm about to do one of the latter next month, you can vote for a book on my patreon rn!)

having gotten all of those caveats out of the way, here's some shit I like and dislike:

there are exceptions to this but broadly, I prefer a POV for everyone involved in the relationship. to me a romance where we're only seeing events from the POV of one member of the relationship automatically makes it seem like one person matters more in a dynamic where everyone should be of equal importance. also, god, if the plot's really going to hinge on not knowing what's going on in one partner's head suggests that miscommunication is going to be a pretty critical part of the plot, and I hate that shit. TALK TO EACH OTHER. I'LL KILL YOU.

on that note, there needs to be an actual compelling reason why the characters can't be together, okay? the #1 driving tension of every romance is "why the fuck can't they be together yet" and you BETTER have a good answer. whether it's interpersonal or external forces, if there's a very easy solution to what's keeping them apart then your characters look dumb and I'm bored. one of the most frustrating romances I've ever read involved two characters who were mutually attracted to each from the JUMP, who refused to act on it because they were coworkers (neither of them in any position of authority of the other, nothing unprofessional or inappropriate about it) and they were "only" living in the same state for A YEAR. A FULL YEAR !!! shut up. get a grip and kiss each other.

now, having said that: whatever your bullshit reason is for these two characters to be interacting with each other, you need to COMMIT to that shit so hard that I, the reader, will feel silly for even questioning the logic. the worst offender I've ever seen on this front is D'Vaughn and Kris Plan a Wedding, which pulls its protagonists together via a reality TV competition and then just... promptly loses any interest in really dealing with the actual realities of being filmed 24/7? it's insanely distracting how little the book engages with its central hook, and was a huge point deduction for me. whereas you have, like, The Bride Test, a book with a premise that skirts dangerously close to a little bit of human trafficking but embraces the whole premise so wholeheartedly that you completely forget about the potentially horrific elements in there. who cares that Esme was bribed here with the promise of a green card if she seduces a man she's never met? there's whimsy happening! we've moved on! it's literally fine and she's in no danger except the danger of a BROKEN HEART.

this one is going to seem SO obvious but like. I need them to be actually like each other. I'm not saying they can't be mutually bitchy while they grow to like each other or anything, they don't have to always be NICE to each other, but there are so many M/F romances where the dude is just flat out fucking MEAN and condescending to the girl until he decides he wants to fuck her. and sometimes even after that! stop it! after a certain point I don't want her to fuck him I want her to run him over a car!!!! there's suuuuch a line between "guy I butt heads and exchange banter with but could fuck if we just got to know each other" and "man who hates me and is for real fucking bullying me."

"kisses only," "doors closed," whatever term they use for a romance novel without any sex scenes on page, I don't like it. listen: I know that they're not everybody's cup of tea, and I FULLY recognize that a lot of romance novel sex scenes are unfathomably cringe. and yet, I need them. partly because they're funny, but also because if this book wants me to be invested in the developing relationship between two adults who are supposed to be WILDLY sexually attracted to each other, then I want to see the damn sex. no matter how many bad similes or unfortunate adjectives it entails. and if you're not going to show me the sex, don't you dare have the characters gushing about how great it is. I'll be the judge of that, thank you very much. (I'm looking at you, Sorry, Bro.)

related: there's this thing that I call "Horny Wolf Syndrome," which is derived from this tweet:

initially I used it to refer to when previously sweet-tempered male romance protags inexplicably started talking like horny wovles during sex scenes - "LET ME SEE YOUR PRETTY CUNT ON MY COCK" and the like - but now I more generally use it to refer to scenarios in which characters of any gender completely dispense with their established personality while they fuck in order to fulfill a more broadly appealing, one-size-fits-all sexual fantasy. I hate that shit; if your characters act like completely unrecognizable people during sex, you didn't write very strong characters. one of my favorite things about writing sex scenes is that it's so SO interesting to see how their the characters' personal quirks translate into a setting that's very different from most other contexts, and it's deeply disappointing when authors take the easy route in favor of some pornhub dialogue.

one of the things that actually won my most recent read, Raiders of the Lost Heart, a HUGE amount of points with me was how frank the female lead was about initiating sex for the first time. it was completely in character for her and felt really different than any other book I've read, and honestly? it was a breath of fresh air.

[inspiringimarah]

DISCLAIMER: Check if the mods are compatible if you’ve updated to the recent patch!

Use Scarlet's Realm list to check for updates 💕

overrides

Refreshed Main Menu 

Urban Erotica (functional books)

No Tune After Loading

Nap Replacement Mod

Restaurant Default Menu

MyxDoll Fenty Beauty Override 

HighSchool Years Textbook Override

Toothbrush override by dsco

Paintbrush Override

The Ultimate Default Underwear Collection by vixonspixels

Paired Selfie (in game photo overrides)

iPhone 12 Override OR H&B Smartphone Override (ONLY CHOOSE ONE)

UNO Card Replacement

 Photo replacements (in game)

Pink Build Buy UI 

Black Sitcom TV Overrides 

San Sequoia Bridge Override

Realistic TV Mod (Reality TV)

Realistic Phone Icons (multiple available on CoCo Games patreon)

Phone Wallpaper Kit OR Phone Wallpaper Override (only pick one)

Control Any Sim

San Myshuno Billboards

PC Game Overrides 

CocoGames Video Game Bundle

Starbucks on Campus

My Wedding Stories Engagement Ring Recolours 

Stand Still in CAS Poses

Hidden Highlight 

Functional Airpods

Hello Kitty Infant Seat

The Missing Plumbob

No zzz (when sim is sleeping)

Towel After Shower

Functional PS5

Black Art Painting Mod

The Sims 2 Font or Life is Strange Font (only pick one)

Gallery Poses (female)

Gallery Poses (male)

Gallery Poses (couple or duo) 

Take Off Shoes With Animation

Stop Random Accessories on Townies

Parenthood Recolour - link is at the bottom of the thread

lighting

check my updated lighting mod list here

cas & loading screen

CAS background

Loading Screen Plumbob Replacement  OR by pinkishwrld

Minimalist CC Wrench Override

More CAS Columns (I use 5)

Map Replacements Overhaul

I alternate my CAS backgrounds so see below for my fave creators:

- MeekGames

- LadySimmer

- SlimmazSimz

- Essemelle 

- BougieChloe

- SierraTheSimmer

- Xurelia

- DonavinGames

- NeriSims

food

Somik & Severinka (I use the Realistic Cooking Mod & all others they have)

ONI Custom Food

QMBIBI Stirring the Pot

QMBIBI Thee Kitchen Tablet

Functional Breakfast Cereals

Airfryer

Waffle Maker

Pressure Cooker

gameplay

misc

Computer Side Gigs

Kuttoe Mini Mods: Small Additions

Bed Cuddle

Carry & Kiss

Longer Parties & More Guests

Functional Magazines

Better Social Media Sponsorships

Higher Lifestyle Brand Payouts 

QMBIBI Skincare Mod

QMBIBI Express Delivery

QMBIBI BabyCare Overhaul

Online Skills 

It’s Movie Time 

BabyCare Mod

Basemental Drugs

Basemental Gangs

Celebrate Adoption

Sip & Paint Event

Luxury Real Estate Career

Recipe Notebook

Sulani Events Calendar and Flyer

Functional Personal Care Products

Go For A Jog... Together

Morning Routine

Everyone Can Sleep Together

Spa Day Face Masks From Mirrors

Pole Dance Mod

Online Apprenticeships 

Turn the TV on

Ask For Money 

UI Cheats

MC Command Center

Self Manicure & Pedicure

Make Functional Perfumes

Shear Brilliance - Active Hairstylist Career

Cute Romance

LOT 51

- Ring Doorbell 

- Dust Buster 

- Plumbros (heating, plumbing & cooling)

- Alarm Clock 

- Simlink (wifi)

High School Years

Fashion Authority   KimbaSprite has a tutorial on this mod here

More Classmates

Adeepinigo

I have many mods by this creator, check out their website here

Lumpinou

There is an index on Lumpinou’s Patreon with all the below mods listed, see here

- LGBTQIA+

- Memory Panel Mod 

- Open Love Life

- RPO Collection “Realistic & Pregancy Overhaul”

- Science Baby Tweak

PandaSama Childbirth 

SimRealist 

- Mortem 

- Real Estate

- Private Practice

- Sim National Bank 

- Sim National Bank Bills

- Sim National Bank Financial Center

SimWithShan

- Cyber Teacher Career

- Homebody Prefences

- Housewife Aspiration

pose player mods (for in game photos)

- Andrew Poseplayer 

- Teleport Any Sim 

Go to creators for poses & animations: 

- KatVerse 

- King Black Cinema 

- Frxsk0sims

- helgatisha

- AfroSimtricSims 

- Gawdly Games

- Hardswae

- Maysbat

- TS4 Poses (tumblr blog)

♡

[nellasbookplanet]

Book recs: monster/creature friendships

Do you like movies like Alien vs Predator, Venom, and Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes? Do you enjoy dragon riders and talking animal companions? Friendly yet deeply inhuman aliens? Monster children and monster parents? Consider yourself less of a monster fucker and more of a monster best friend? Watch horror movies and fantasize about befriending the horrifying ghosts and ghoulies? Then this is the list for you!

A note: some of these books do have romance subplots, but not as the most important relationship or focus.

A (second) note: the criteria for "monster" are subjective. I looked mainly for titles featuring creatures who neither look nor act/think human. In cases where they are more human looking, I wanted a distinctly inhuman mind and morality, meaning most books featuring vampires, werewolves, fey, etc are excluded. I may have included books you feel aren't monstrous enough, or excluded ones you feel are sufficiently monstrous but I don't agree about. Again, it’s subjective.

Feel free to leave your own recs in the notes, but please know that if you rec books featuring mostly human vampires and werewolves I will be judging. I have separate lists for those, go look there instead.

For more details on the books, continue under the readmore. Titles marked with * are my personal favorites. If you want more book recs, check out my masterpost of rec lists!

Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir*

Ryland Grace just woke up from a coma, unable to remember anything. He finds himself alone on a space ship, and as his memories slowly trickle back, he realizes he’s been sent on a mission: to find a solution to the impending doom of the earth. Still struggling with holes in his memories, Ryland tries to fulfill his mission, but as he gets closer to his goal, he discovers someone else got there first. And they aren’t anything close to human. Funny, heartfelt, and heavy on the science.

Fragment by Warren Fahy*

The reality TV show Sealife is having a rough time - as it turns out, a ship full of scientists doesn’t make for the kind of drama they hoped for. Hoping for some excitement, they reach Hender’s Island, a fragment of a lost continent that may contain an interesting new ecosystem. But as they step foot on the island, they quickly come to realize the ecosystem isn’t just new, it’s highly dangerous and very hungry. Among all this life is one single species that may be more dangerous than any other, but which may also be the salvation of the scientists on the island. A bit wonky, but genuinely one of the most fun books I have read, I love it so much.

The Road to Roswell by Connie Willis*

Francie has just traveled to Roswell to attend her college friend’s wedding to a UFO conspiracist. Not a believer herself, Francie is shocked when she finds herself abducted by an alien. Her abductor is not much what popular media would have you believe, looking more like a tumbleweed than a grey alien, and is clearly on some kind of mission it isn’t willing to put on hold for the sake of Francie attending to her duties as a bridesmaid. As more people get roped along - among those a conman, an old lady, a ufo conspiracist, and a retiree with an RV - Francie finds herself getting closer to the alien and wanting to help it succeed.

The Last Human by Zack Jordan

Young adult. Sarya is a human - the only one of her kind. Living with her adoptive mother - a vicious, insectile alien - on a space station surrounded by hundreds of other alien species, Sarya spends every day staying below the radar and hiding her true identity. But when an odd new alien arrives on the station, she may finally get an answer to her biggest question: why humanity was deemed too dangerous to be allowed to exist.

Alien vs. Predator: Prey by Steve Perry & S.D. Perry*

On desert planet Ruyshi, businesswoman Machiko Noguchi is about to take over the leading position in a small human colony. Her job is made infinitely harder when the colony comes under attack on two fronts as two species of vicious aliens choose it as their battle ground. If you're reading this list, you probably already know of the movie by the same name. The book, while completely different in setting and cast, does feature many similar plot points, among those a third act team-up between a human woman and a murderous alien.

Children of Time by Adrian Tchaikovsky*

Millenia and generation spanning scifi. After the collapse of an empire, a planet once part of a project to uplift other species to sentience is left to develop on its own, resulting not in the intelligent monkeys once intended but in sentient giant spiders. Millenia later, what remains of humanity arrives looking for a new home, only to be met by the artificial remains of the ancient woman who once led the uplift project - and she is not willing to let them on her planet.

The Moon and the Sun by Vonda N. McIntyre

You can’t go wrong with a Vonda McIntyre novel just, like, in general. This one is set in 17th century France, where a young woman and her brother travel to live at the royal court, where they are to care for and study a strange captured sea monster fabled to have the ability to grant eternal life. A lot of focus on court politics as well as the cultural and biological differences between the humans and the mermaid. Also available as a movie (but it’s not very good, please just read the book).

Winter Tide by Ruthanna Emrys*

Lovecraftian fishpeople! Aphra and her brother are the only survivors after the government raided their home, Innsmouth. Their only living family are the amphibian people of the deep, whom they will one day join, but until then they are bound to land where they struggle to build new lives for themselves after the great loss of their home and loved ones. Then rumors start to spread of a russian agent seeking dangerous and ancient magic, forcing Aphra to involve herself as they try to stop it. Does contain horror elements but is generally a much more optimistic look on cosmic horror than most lovecraftian stories, told from the perspective of one of his monsters. Lots of focus on found family and rebuilding of community.

The Doors of Eden by Adrian Tchaikovsky*

The Doors of Eden is something of an experiment in speculative biology, featuring versions of Earth in which various different species were the one to rise to sentience, from dinosaurs to neanderthals. Now, something is threatening the existence of all timelines, dragging multiple different people and species into the struggle, among those a pair of cryptid hunting girlfriends and a transgender scientist. Together, can they find a way to save the multiverse?

The Spider and Her Demons by sydney khoo*

Young adult. All teenager Zhi wants is a normal life (and possibly for her harsh aunt to be a bit nicer), but it’s hard when she’s half spider demon. Every day she must conceal her true nature and hide in human guise. When she slips up and eats a man in front of her rich, aloof classmate Dior, Zhi thinks her life is over. But Dior has secrets of her own, and she is dead set on making herself a part of Zhi's life.

Vespertine by Margaret Rogerson

Young adult fantasy. Artemisia prefers the dead to the living, and is training to become a Gray Sister, a nun who helps the souls of the deceased pass on to the afterlife rather than remain as dangerous spirits. To defend her convent, Artemisia accepts the help of a dangerous revenant, a powerful spirit which grants her great power but also could possess her the moment her guard is lowered. As evil threatens her homeland, Artemisia and the revenant must find a way to work together.

Slewfoot: a Tale of Bewitchery by Brom

Historical horror. Young Englishwoman Abitha has only recently arrived and married into a Puritan colony when she unexpectedly becomes a widow. As she strives to save her small farm from going under in the wake of tragedy, something dark and dangerous stalks the surrounding woods. He doesn't know whether he's spirit, devil, or god, doesn't even know his own name, and in requesting Abitha's help, both their lives are changed forever.

Lycanthropy and Other Chronic Illnesses by Kristen O'Neal*

Young adult. Priya had plans to go to Stanford, but is derailed when the fallout from lyme disease puts her back, making her question if she'll ever get back to normal. Luckily she has her discord support group with whom she can chat and vent about her illness. Even more - she has Brigid, online fandom friend and fellow chronic illness sufferer. But when Brigid disappears from the web without warning, Priya must drive to Pennsylvania to make sure her friend is okay - and finds that Brigid's condition is a bit hairier than she expected.

Sorcery of Thorns by Margaret Rogerson

Young adult. Elisabeth is a librarian, trained to handle grimoires - books of magic which, if mishandled, can turn into horrifying monsters. When an act of sabotage leads to the release of one of the library's most dangerous grimoires, Elisabeth finds herself implicated in the crime. Forced to team up with an enemy sorcerer and his loyal and unpredictable demon servant, Elisabeth sets out to find out the truth of what happened.

The Girl With All the Gifts by M.R. Carey

In a post apocalyptic, zombie-infested wasteland, a group of characters try to stay alive and hope to find a cure. One of the characters is Melanie, a young girl who carries the contagion inside of her and hungers for flesh, but like many children of the apocalypse has kept her humanity. Is she and children like her the answer to the cure we are looking for? Or are they the start of something entirely new? This book has also been adapted as a movie!

Malevolent by Harlan Guthrie*

Lovecraftian horror mystery. Private detective Arthur Lester wakes up in his office, his partner dead, memories fuzzy, vision gone, and the voice of a malevolent entity in his mind. Unable to see, Arthur is forced to rely on guidance from the entity as he attempts to solve the mystery of what it is and where it came from. Is this a book? No. But as someone who reads mostly audiobooks, the difference between a book and a fiction podcast is negligible, and also I love this story and its characters and want all of you to do so too.

Parasyte by Hitoshi Iwaka*

Horror manga, heavy on the bodyhorror. Shinichi Izumi wakes one day after a strange dream: that an alien parasite crawled into his arm. Soon he realizes it was more real than dream, and that an inhuman creature, having failed to eat and take over his brain, now controls his arm. Forced to cooperate, the two do their best to survive as more parasites quietly infiltrate society, meaning to devour our entire species. Also available as a very faithful anime!

Skulduggery Pleasant by Derek Landy*

Young adult. Twelve-year-old Stephanie Edgley's uncle, famed horror writer, just died mysteriously and left her his entire fortune. As it turns out, the stories he wrote weren't entirely made up, and that which killed him wasn't entirely human. In trying to avenge his death, Stephanie joins forces with Skulduggery Pleasant, sorcerer, detective, and living, walking skeleton.

The Cloud Roads by Martha Wells

Moon doesn't know what he is. Having lost his family young he lives on the move, shifting his shape to hide his true form. The only ones similar to himself he's ever encountered are the vicious, bloodthirsty Fell, but he knows he cannot be one of them. When chance leads to a meeting with someone like him, he hopes his days of loneliness are over. But his new people stand against a dangerous enemy, and not all of them welcome Moon's help. A departure from other titles on this list in that it features only creatures, with not a single human on page.

The Girl From the Well by Rin Chupeco

Young adult horror. Okiku died three hundred years ago, her body thrown down a well. Now she spends her days hunting for and punishing murderers like the one who once killed her. When a strange boy bearing odd tattoos appears in her area, he catches Okiku's attention - as does something that follows after him. To save the boy, Okiku will be drawn into a journey taking both of them from American suburbia to a faraway shrine in Japan.

Monstrilio by Gerardo Sámano Córdova

When Magos loses her son Santiago to a longtime illness, she loses herself to grief and cuts out a piece of his lung. After hearing old folktales, she begins feeding it - and is shocked to find it growing and alive. Soon finding herself in charge of a hungry and bloodthirsty creature, Magos and her family must come together to care for what they can only see as a second chance for Santiago.

Semiosis by Sue Burke

A generational story following a group of humans trying to survive on a new planet, where a strange and unkowable intelligence is finding ways to use them to its whims. As the humans come across an abandoned city wrapped in the roots of a strange plant, they slowly come to the realization that mutual communication is the only path to peace and survival. Meanwhile, the alien finds itself tied all the more tightly to the growing human community.

The Stardust Grail by Yume Kitasei

Maya Hoshimoto used to be an art thief, and a damned good one to, until a disastrous heist made her retire into academia, hoping for peace and coping with an alien disease which causes her to see glimpses of the future. When an old friend tracks her down and asks her help to find and steal a legendary artifact that could save his entire species, Maya is convinced to do one last job.

Magical Girl Dandelion by Mizuho Kaeru

Manga. Tanpopo Ohanami's parents were killed by a phantom monster when she was young, but her life was saved by Shade, another phantom. Ever since then, Shade has been her friend, watching over her and keeping her safe. But then Tanpopo is revealed to be a potential magical girl, meant to fight the phantoms and protect humanity. Her and Shade are meant to be enemies, but can they instead work and fight alongside each other?

His Majesty's Dragon by Naomi Novik

It’s the height of the Napoleonic Wars, and soldiers on dragon back fight each other in the air. Will Laurence isn't a dragonrider but a sea captain, but when his ship captures a French frigate and discovers a dragon egg about to hatch in his cargo, his life changes forever when he and the dragon hatchling bond.

The Golden Compass by Philip Pullman

Middle grade. In Lyra's world, every person has a daemon: a talking animal companion who follows them throughout life. When children begin being stolen off the street, among them Lyra's friend, she must embark on a great journey to save him, taking her to the furthest north - and beyond.

A Redtail's Dream by Minna Sundberg*

Graphic novel inspired by Finnish mythology. When an irresponsible fox spirit accidentally traps an entire town in the dreamlands, it’s up to slacker Hannu and his talking, shapeshifting dog Ville to save everyone. Together the unwilling heroes must travel the dreamlands and locate the townsfolk, returning them to the waking world before the fox spirit sends them all on to death to hide his mistake. While the physical copy is all but impossible to get a hold of, the original webcomic can still be read for free here.

[swtnrcmnt]

୨୧ — s.r x bau!r; headcanons

more spencer content !! woo ! after publishing the spencer x singer!reader headcanons, i was like yes this is so cute but imagine bau!reader... heart explosion omg. so enjoy !

i've always thought it would be so cute if spence and bau!reader met in like season 1, and then stayed together throughout the whole show. that's just so cute to me :')

like. you probably had a desk directly opposite him and would just tease and bother him to see him get all flustered

your relationship probably started as like a 'fights like siblings' relationship and over time escalated to something more

oh he was for sure the first one to fall in love and fall hard

talking to him about pop culture stuff while he's trying to work and he's just telling you the logic behind things and statistics of you getting married to the hot lead in a new movie

he really really appreciates how much you care about his random little statistic facts. while the rest of the team is now "sorry i asked" you're the one who's like "no, go on" SFUSHDB MY HEART

is so so so nervous to ask you out so he goes to derek for some advice and right away you can tell he did

him coming to work with a new book for you to read since you said you wanted to start reading more

and in exchange you convince him to start reading romance novels and watching reality tv muahahaha

hanging out on the jet after a case and the rest of the team is betting genuine money on how long it'll take for you to get together

being there for him through all the shit he went through since the rest of the team was just soooooo oblivious

fast forward a bit, and this is now the prison arc.. ugh it would hurt so bad to see everything go down knowing you can't visit him because you're on a case and can't call him

i need somebody to write a bau reader reaction to cat adam's pregnancy thing (i can't 100% remember but I'm pretty sure spence wasn't the father anyway) and it causes a small problem in your relationship but blows over pretty quickly

omg speaking of pregnancy imagine having a baby shower with the team :')) penelope and rossi would spoil the shit out of that baby and it isn't even born yet omg

bringing baby reid to the bau to meet the team and spence is just so proud he's a dad now he's just showing her (yes her, he's a girl dad idc) off to everyone he sees like "look at my cute daughter!"

getting married too omg. having the wedding in Rossi's backyard like jj and will did (bc it's now tradition i said so)

scolding him for every stupid decision he makes in the field. for ex, literally taking his vest off in a train full of hostages and a psycho with a gun

but it's ok because at least he's still alive !

i love this dynamic so much it's so cute

my heart is in pieces now bye

that's all for now ! i hope u enjoyed :)

[sapphicbookclub]

D'Vaughn and Kris Plan a Wedding by Chencia C. Higgins

D’Vaughn and Kris have six weeks to plan their dream wedding. Their whole relationship is fake.

Instant I Do could be Kris Zavala’s big break. She’s right on the cusp of really making it as an influencer, so a stint on reality TV is the perfect chance to elevate her brand. And $100,000 wouldn’t hurt, either.

D’Vaughn Miller is just trying to break out of her shell. She’s sort of neglected to come out to her mom for years, so a big splashy fake wedding is just the excuse she needs.

All they have to do is convince their friends and family they’re getting married in six weeks. If anyone guesses they’re not for real, they’re out. Selling their chemistry on camera is surprisingly easy, and it’s still there when no one else is watching, which is an unexpected bonus. Winning this competition is going to be a piece of wedding cake.  

But each week of the competition brings new challenges, and soon the prize money’s not the only thing at stake. A reality show isn’t the best place to create a solid foundation, and their fake wedding might just derail their relationship before it even starts.

Genres: contemporary, romance

Get the book from Blackwell's with free worldwide shipping here!

[ao3feed-kathony]

i just wanna be a part of your family

read it on AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/58665695 by wisterial All Kate wants to do is ensure that her sister stays safe and isn't taken advantage of when they come to LA for Edwina's acting career. She knows that a PR relationship with Anthony Bridgerton will do wonders for Edwina's career, but Kate can't help her suspicions that Anthony wants more from her sister than some rehab from his playboy persona. Three years after a magical night with Benedict Bridgerton, Sophie is just doing her best to stay afloat. After she loses her apartment and quits her job, Benedict presents her with an offer she can't refuse, but she can hardly bear to be in the same room as him knowing that their time spent together meant nothing to him, and everything to her. Penelope is finally starting to leave her image as the frumpy little sister behind, borne from her time on her family's reality tv show, "Following the Featheringtons". The last thing she needs to do to become completely independent is to stop obsessing over Colin Bridgerton. Unfortunately, her plan is decimated when she loses her virginity to him after a drunken party, and he refuses to leave her alone to stew in her humiliation. Or: Kate, Sophie, and Penelope attempt to survive the Bridgertons during Daphne's wedding. Words: 7130, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English Fandoms: Bridgerton (TV), Bridgerton Series - Julia Quinn Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Categories: F/M Characters: Anthony Bridgerton, Benedict Bridgerton, Colin Bridgerton, Daphne Bridgerton, Eloise Bridgerton, Francesca Bridgerton, Gregory Bridgerton, Hyacinth Bridgerton, Simon Basset, Kate Sheffield | Kate Sharma, Edwina Sheffield | Edwina Sharma, Sophie Beckett, Penelope Featherington, Violet Bridgerton Relationships: Anthony Bridgerton/Kate Sheffield | Kate Sharma, Sophie Beckett/Benedict Bridgerton, Colin Bridgerton/Penelope Featherington Additional Tags: Modern Era, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Hollywood, Fame, LA, Family Drama, Drama & Romance, Ensemble Cast, Fluff, Humor, Texting, Attempted Sexual Assault, only in the first chap, POV Multiple read it on AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/58665695

[our-wargame]

Just getting back into ships so here are some prompts and ideas / odz / iwaoi / matsuhana and your choice

Person A has always wanted kids and decides adopting as a single parent is still adopting. It's bizarre, how easily Person B fits into this new life.

Person A fucks up their sleep schedule and ultimately becomes completely nocturnal. They meet Person B while having four am lunch.

A group of friends is together and between them and their mutuals, there are a dozen weddings being held this summer. Person A and Person B decide to attend them as a "temporary" couple.

In a supernatural world, Person A has been accused of a heinous plot and Person B, their alibi, is missing.

Truth Potion AU - you can't speak a lie when you're in the presence of someone you harbor unrequited feelings for.

In a world where the kingdom's next leader is chosen by majority vote, Person A insists that popularity contest are stupid. They may or may not nominate themselves/Person B, but they at the very least, catch the attention of the previous leader/Person B.

Hero/Villain AU where the villain is more interested in sleeping with the hero than doing anything malicious. Alternatively negotiates not doing crimes in exchange for dates.

Hero/Villian AU where the hero takes a leaf out of the other's book and the villain spends some time reprimanding them about going down the dark path.

Childhood friends AU where one of them then moves across the planet, and they keep in touch for fifteen years, before one of them visits the other.

Angst/sci-fi AU - share a consciousness so that only one of them can be conscious at any time.

Actors AU - they did a movie together two years ago, Person A is a massive dork who fell in love at first sight and has wildly failed at their desperate attempts to move on since. Their agents match them up for a new movie and maybe, things are a lot easier the second time around.

Opposite of Slow burn - a romance ending in marriage in thirty days, and lasting much longer than that.

Gameshow - a reality TV show that rewards couples who stay together through the season in spite of the hormones suffocating the house. Person A and B pretend to be a couple to win some money.

[witchthewriter]

𝐁𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐊𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐲 𝐉𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬' 𝐬/𝐨 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞

⤷ female, ambiguous race, and any size reader. Requests are open, thank you for reading!

Warnings: swearing

ᴹᵃˢᵗᵉʳˡᶤˢᵗ

𝑺𝑭𝑾🌿  

・You had seen Keeley on the tv before you ever saw her in person.

・And when you did see her in person, you went up and introduced yourself. Only because you were making yourself do things that were difficult (it was supposed to be character-building or something - an idea from your therapist)

・And talking to a pretty girl was one step toward having more confidence

・But she was absolutely lovely

・And you were left feeling so light and bubbly after the conversation

・But fate somehow had a hand in your relationship because you kept bumping into each other.

"I'm not stalking you, I promise!" You blurted out one morning after entering the coffee shop she was exiting.

But she only laughed.

"I've had stalkers before love, you ain't as good as 'em," she winked and walked off. Leaving you with a very fast beating heart.

・You fantasised about her; daydreaming about how your relationship would be. What your wedding would be like, how many kids you would have, if you would be the bread winner or Keeley

・And then you would be brought back to reality with a yell from your boss

・Your pining lasted a few months, until one of your friends got fed up with your inaction and added her on Instagram

・She accepted, and to your surprise, she dm'ed you first

'we go to the same coffee shop, don't we?'

・You were stunned and didn't think this would happen in a million years. Were you supposed to answer straight away? In 10 minutes? In an hour, oh god a day??

・This was why you were terrible at dating and relationships in general - you never knew what to do

・But Keeley had made you feel so at ease, and you made up your mind. Even if you looked stupid, at least you were being polite

'Yeah, we do! Too bad today they didn't have their croissants :('

・You waited and waited and saw that she had read the message. It took two minutes for the bubbles to form and you were squealing

'I could get you one tomorrow!'

・You nearly threw your phone across the room. FUCK WAS SHE FLIRTING OR JUST BEING NICE?!

'Really?? thank you! What time do you get there?'

・Was this a date? Were you inadvertently creating a date?

・The answer was yes. A big fat fucking yes. Which led to more and more dates.

・And then she asked if you wanted to sleep over at her place and it was the best time of your life. The next morning she made snails out of pancakes and various other creatures. It made you fall in love with her even more.

・There was something about Keeley that made you feel confident and weak in the knees at the same time

・She always loops her arm with yours, nudging you and then holding you close.

・And Keeley always has something to say, so there's never a lull in the conversation

・She's asked you if you'd still love her if she was a worm, and you said yes. And you'd make a little worm house for her, and get her food. And she started crying.

・Who knew a B-level model and D-level celebrity would fall in love with you?

・You honestly never thought Keeley and you would work. Or at least, get this far. Past the point of talking to each other in the coffee shop.

・But you did, and you moved into her place

・She brings you to all the Richmond games (or the important ones, if you don't like sports)

・Roy and Jamie cornered you one afternoon, both had their arms crossed in front of each other.

・But you weren't intimidated in the slightest

"You hurt her, and we'll break your face," Roy grumbled. And Jamie nodded and then looked at his captain with a tad of horror.

"Fair," you said and walked away.

・Would definitely get two ragdoll kittens with pink collars and love heart name tags.

・Her favourite things to do with you are staying up late watching movies - especially romance. She can't help but love them. Especially 'Leap Year' and 'Mamma Mia.'

𝑹𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆𝒔

Chaotic Dumbass Duo

Always Hold Grudges (You) x Forgives Too Easily (Keeley)

You Didn't Believe The Other Could Ever Love Them Back But They Do

𝑹𝒐𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒄 𝑷𝒍𝒐𝒕 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆    

You Fell First, But They Fall Harder

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒆 𝑺𝒐𝒏𝒈

Underground by Cody Fry

[satans-helper]

Reaching for Stardust - Part XVI

Read Looking for Space here / Playlists / Read RFS on wattpad

Word Count: ~2800

Warnings: none:)

A/N: Thank you everyone for being patient with my posting! I'm normally very punctual but I also like to make sure I have enough future chapters written ahead of time. It's also just been a tough time lately. But I plan on getting back to more timely uploads. Hope you're enjoying <3

---

It really hit me just how big my family had become once Christmas came around, which came unbelievably quickly after Danny’s birthday passed. My own blood-family, the Kiszkas and the Wagners all blended together, crowding the Kiszkas house which was the biggest but still noticeably too small for three families bundled together. We weren’t little kids anymore–we were all adults with our own big, adult identities and voices to match, a big bunch of personality crammed into a childhood home that was beginning to feel further and further away.

I got drunk enough to not be bothered by the perpetual strangeness of my parents mingling with Josh’s–it’s not like that was an entirely novel experience, but each time the interactions began I felt the same trepidation and edginess, like my nervous system was preparing for something awful that, thankfully, never came. Everyone got one so well, so much so that I had to question if I was far drunker than I thought and seeing the world through rose colored glasses, a pair of which actually existed in Sam’s old bedroom. 

But the champagne and cocktails kept flowing, leaving me basking in a warm glow with my sweetheart. We’d all gone the silly sweater route this year, parents included, and when Josh had topped off his outfit with that adorable little penguin hat from that first Christmas we shared, my heart felt like it was going to burst and break with love. Beyond that, we were all coordinated in our itchy, glittery, ridiculous sweaters–Josh and Jake were matching in their midnight blue and silver bells, Sam and Danny in red and gold, Kirsti and I in white and green. Everyone was festive and everyone brought something to the table–literally–beginning with Jake spearheading the appetizers once again. Once I thought I couldn’t stuff myself with any more toasted bread and rich, buttery cheeses, the Kiszka parents brought out a succulent ham in tandem with my parent’s traditional roast turkey, both completed by a myriad of Wagner-made side dishes. So, by the time dessert rolled around, I felt like I really had, in Josh’s words, expanded too much to fit into my wedding dress.

But, keeping Josh’s eternal wisdom in mind, I didn’t worry. Christmas eve was easy and fun, all of us soaking in the new bonds we were forging and the old ones too. Us “kids” stole away time in the garage to smoke a bowl between meals and pound cheap beers Sam had found in the basement and I was laughing so much, enjoying myself so much, that I felt like I was in one of those cheesy Hallmark Christmas movies. Except maybe the most unorthodox one you could think of, where everyone was getting drunk and high, three of the main characters were in a band and the other two were getting married in a way that Hallmark would never capture. Our wedding would be even better than anything that had ever been on TV, I drunkenly concluded to myself. 

Still, the romance that was laden in those cheesy movies held true to my reality. Each time I passed the bowl around, lifted my drink or fork or moved in front of the fireplace made me look at my ring. Whenever I moved my hands as we sat at the table, the candlelight making the diamond and the tiny sapphires shimmer and gleam like the snow outside, and each time I looked at it, I looked at Josh next. He caught my eyes each time, face so serene and soft, and I couldn’t believe how lucky I’d gotten after all those years. Not that I was ever unlucky, but that life often felt monotonous. Never all that special. But when Josh had entered my life, it shifted entirely and suddenly “too blessed to be stressed” felt about right. My concerns about the wedding, even though it was right around the corner, were gone, at least during Christmas eve and Christmas day, when Josh and I hopped back to our blood family’s homes then back to our apartment for our own quiet time.

“For fucks’s sake,” Josh said with a laugh, gently nudging a gift bag away from the front door with his foot while we shrugged our coats off. “Our little home is just bursting with presents. What are we going to do with all of these?”

“Buy a house,” I said with a sigh, bending over to grab two more bags and move them into the living room. “Someday. Hopefully someday soon.”

“It’ll happen when it happens,” Josh assured me, helping to carry in another couple of bags. “The right one will appear before our very eyes when the time is right. Trust in the universe.”

“I always do,” I told him with a wink, then gave him a gentle jab of my elbow. “I trust you more though.” 

To be fair to all our family members, most of the gifts were totally practical and wouldn’t take up a whole lot of extra space–a new scarf for each of us, a new ugly Christmas sweater for Josh courtesy of his brothers, slippers, towels, a new set of sheets. Then there were smaller, more sentimental things, like the handwritten card Danny had given me that I immediately sat upright on top of our bedroom dresser and my favorite lighter that Sam had finally returned to me after he accidentally stole it, i.e, forgot he took it. But I knew the best gifts were being saved for last and upon returning to the living room in my comfiest pajamas, Josh was sitting on the floor in front of the coffee table, two mugs of hot chocolate sitting atop that.

I sat down beside him, immediately resting my head on his shoulder. “Don’t you wanna get into sweatpants or something?” 

“Good idea. I got distracted preparing the cocoa” Josh nudged a red envelope across the coffee table toward me as he stood up. “Open your present now, darling.”

“No, no,” I said, though I was already grabbing it and re-crossing my legs, excited–we’d agreed no “real” gifts, but anything Josh ever gave me was so real that I always felt it pierce my heart. “I’ll wait.”

“No, no, seriously,” he insisted, bending down to kiss the top of my head. “It’s sort of embarrassing to me but I know you’ll get a kick out of it.”

I watched his backside as he left. “Embarrassing? Really?” He half-turned his head to reaffirm my question and, curiosity and intrigue peaking, I decided to open the envelope. There was no card but there was one folded up piece of notebook paper, which I flattened on top of my knee and began to silently read:

Confirm ring size

Figure out proposal–where? SHE SAID YES! 

Engagement photos 

Confirm lodging

Suits

Call caterer

Cake flavor? FROSTING? what is a compote anyway...

Decide on cake design, find someone to bake the fucking thing

Work on vows–those words are just for her

Ring

Thank you cards

Reading each little line made me smile bigger and bigger. When Josh came back to the living room, I felt like my jaw was going to fall right out of my skull, I was so delirious. He looked just as happy when he met my excited gaze; he laughed and plopped down next to me, curling into my side. 

“What is this?” I asked, laughing, though it needed no explanation.

“It’s the undeniable proof of my own neuroses,” Josh told me, stealing the list back to review himself. “Tangible evidence that I worry about the same things you do.”

“You’ve never been a list man,” I noted. “This is surprising.”

“Yeah, well, I think we both know how many things go into a wedding now. It turned me into a list man.”

I held the piece of paper up into the blue and white glow of our Christmas tree lights–we never had enough space for a full tree, but we made do with a miniature one tucked into the corner of the living room. “I love it so much. I’m inclined to frame it,” I told him, and Josh laughed. I reached behind myself for the envelope I’d prepared, still waiting on the end table by the couch, and placed it in his lap. “Now yours. I gotta warn you though–it’s cheesy.”

“I like cheesy,” Josh assured me with an eager smile, tearing it open. It was the cheesiest yet one of the most important gifts I could think of, and the look on his face when he saw the picture affirmed that. “Wow. Yes! Our initials as the centerpiece in our wedding, inlaid in the same wood we fell in love around–of course!”

It was just that. Well, not a centerpiece–more like an entry piece, if there was such a term. Most of the wedding lingo still went in one ear and out the other. Whatever the proper word for the item, I’d custom ordered our initials–the exact way we’d carved them into the barn–to be engraved in a raw cut piece of wood and propped up just inside the lodge. It had ended up being just about the last wedding detail I needed to sign off on and it was the one I was most proud of. 

“The real thing is just for us,” I said, finally reaching for my hot chocolate. “You know, I’ve never told anyone else where our barn is. It really is our secret place.”

“Me either. It really is the place we fell in love too,” Josh said, tucking the photo back into the envelope. “It feels like just yesterday you texted me asking me to come look for constellations with you. I finally cracked you.”

I chuckled, licking foam from my upper lip. “The fact that you brought gummies helped.” 

“I know you sometimes, or rather, you often, worry that things won’t always be like this. You worry things won’t always be good,” Josh began, inching closer, his body warm and comforting. “And I know sometimes how I move so fast all the time makes you worry more. But things can always be like this, you know.”

There were so many ways that could be interpreted. “Like how?”

“Easy. Happy. Whole.”

“Goddamn,” I muttered, smiling just the same. “We really are in a Hallmark movie now.”

“I’m fucking serious, doll,” Josh insisted, quick hands assaulting my sides until I nearly toppled over with laughter. “We have everything we need! The last thing to make our lives complete is happening very soon.”

“I know. I’m excited. But isn’t that sort of daunting? If getting married is the final thing we need for our lives to be complete, won’t the rest of it be super boring?”

“There’s no such thing as ‘boring’ when it comes to you and me.”

I smiled again, bringing the hot chocolate back up to my lips. “Fair enough.” 

“It’s no secret that I worry too. You know why I meditate so frequently.”

I set my mug down and slid up to actually sit on the couch, reaching my hand down for Josh to follow. As he settled back next to me, leaning against my chest, I asked, “What are you most worried about now?”

“You know…” Josh said slowly, running his fingertips down my arm.

I nodded. “Yeah, same here. All of us being together throughout the holidays made me want it even more. Our family is supposed to stick together, but instead the boys are getting further and further away.” 

“They’ll always come back,” Josh mused. “That’s not the problem.”

“No. That’s reassuring. But where do we want to be, Josh? We still haven’t figured it out.”

“I’ve been waiting on the universe to guide me in that decision since I can’t decide.” He rubbed his cheek against my shoulder with a soft groan. “That’s okay, right? We’ve made so many decisions over these past few months–what’s wrong with putting aside this one for a while?”

“Nothing at all. I’m totally fine with that.”

Josh hummed and nuzzled my shoulder harder before he popped his head up and said, “24 more days.”

I blinked. “Seriously? It feels like it’s happening like, next week. January 18th sounds right around the corner from now.”

“Don’t wish all the time away. We need room to breathe.”

I laid my hand over Josh’s chest. “We really do. Speaking of–you’re still doing alright?” He’d recovered from his little bout of pneumonia nearly three weeks ago, but the worry of that, the memory of my own fear, still came back to bite at me every once in a while.

“Fit as a fiddle, my love,” Josh said, patting my hand over his heart. “Now should we watch one of those cheesy Hallmark movies that you think our lives are mirroring?”

“Yes,” I said emphatically, reaching for the remote. 

Twenty minutes into the movie, it was obvious that it didn’t quite mirror our lives–neither of us had some slightly obscure, ridiculously high-paying job that led us away from our hometown. We hadn’t had some random meet-cute in a snow-covered city square to bring us together. We certainly hadn’t said “I love you” after a week of knowing one another and we hadn’t gotten engaged that quickly either–not that those things already happened twenty minutes in, but I knew the play-by-play of these so-called films like the back of my hand.

“Another thing,” Josh chirped, stringing along the critique of the movie and the comparison of our lives to it. “We’re both better looking than these two leads. You know I don’t like to say anything negative about anyone, but they’re very average.” His head was in my lap and he looked pointedly up at me to add, “You’re a stunner.”

I tapped the tip of his nose. “You are, Joshua.”

“You are, mama.” He sat up and reached to the coffee table for the bowl of popcorn courtesy of both of our never-ending appetites. “I see why people like these movies so much despite all of their flaws. They’re whimsical. It’s the most cut and dry love story one can have, all nicely wrapped with a big bow.”

“Yeah, pretty much,” I agreed, stealing a handful of popcorn for myself. “You could make a really awesome love story into a film, Josh. I know you haven’t been working on anything like that lately but maybe someday–you know?”

“All of my films are love stories.”

“I know that. But like, you could do something like this but a thousand times better. A thousand times more real.”

Josh hummed softly, leaning against my shoulder. “I do want to create something big soon. I’ve been reading through all of our poetry for inspiration.”

“Really?” I asked brightly, flattered. 

“You know what I just thought of?” Josh asked, the words as bright as my own had been. “Our wedding vows are going to be like another collaborative poem. It’s like we’re going back to the beginning.” 

I smiled, chewing. “Oh my god,” I said after the mouthful of popcorn was gone. “You’re so right. I didn’t think of it that way but–yeah.” 

“Have you finished yours?”

“No,” I said shamelessly. I’d been keeping Josh fairly up to date on my vows, mostly about how nervous I was for them to be perfect and how scary it was to say them in front of other people, but the thought that it was just like another shared poem eased my mind. 

Josh chuckled, nuzzling his cheek against my shoulder. “Me either. But I’m so close. I wish I could have you proofread them for me but I think that would diminish the magic.”

“Have Jakey do it for you,” I encouraged, using my clean hand to fuss with Josh’s hair. “I bet he’d be happy to.”

“No. No one gets to see or hear it or see it before you do,” Josh said, so suddenly serious. That, too, was flattering. 

I stepped out onto the balcony for a brief look into the night sky before we went to bed. It was an exceptionally clear night despite the season and the lights of our complex and the town around us–above me was an endlessly deep ceiling of midnight blue, the color so rich and dark but not quite onyx yet. The moon was free of clouds, a startlingly bright white nearly full circle, the haze shimmering off its surface pink and blue, and the stars around it twinkled fiercely silver. It was perfect. 

Inspired, I had to look up what the moon phase would be on our wedding–a half-moon in Taurus. One side in shadow, the other in light, the whole celestial being radiating in Josh’s sun sign. That was even more perfect.

---

Tagging: @sparrowofrhiannon @starbuggie @lightsofthe-living-gvf @sanguinebats @gvfrry @clairesjointshurt @bizzielisteningtogreta @jjwasneverhere @gvfrry

If you’d like to be tagged in any of my fics, you can go here or DM me :)

[whomstwedointheshadows]

Season 6 Nandermo Prediction: Monty Python to Seinfeld to the Office Finale

In Honor of Reality TV House Flippers, I Present Vampires in Court TV

*CRACK ATTACK*

To honor Serial Killer Guillermo and the show subverting the reality/ sit-com format, I need the Staten Island Gang questing to face off the Big Bad. The Big Bad has a Network. They track them down, expanding their own territory, nutty vampire death sentences and leaning in to dark humor. Gore, bodies, glory everywhere. Evidence to one former familiar, everywhere, as vampires now help with cleaning up as as they are more equal in the house.

The Big Bad is revealed to be a holy terror and also cute as a bloodthirsty bunny. Bunnicula, the Big Bad, if you will.

See Murder Husband dream fighting together, Guillermo pledging to do whatever it takes to survive and come home together, overcoming this comically adorable foe. The fight is more glamor shots, inspiring questions of fan service and striking home Yes This Is Homoerotic and Camp until they win, plot feels rushed to audience but it’s clearly just a set up for Big Confession Time. Obviously they are Fully Realized and Ready for It, now show us!!

Vampires done vamping with the fallen head home, masses of dead-dead/undead cut up, ready for further dumping. Incriminating, but just the usual work for a familiar now shared. Matching gore and relief for Nandor and Guillermo, a picture of intimacy.

All these dead in the name of Flirting, they openly acknowledge, laugh together. Nandermo is here, the scene is tipping in to a Big Confession, Big Kiss… something…

In swarm the police, Humans, incongruous immediately with sense of culmination of fifteen years of pining. Trucks, helicopters, tanks against stakes. Completely lost the romance, dark humor into a Gritty True Crime NARRATIVE.

Narration of Colin Robinson expressing ACAB, but an energy vampire has to feed, won’t it be great when this airs? First acknowledgment the footage is broadcasting somewhere and he feeds from the viewer.

Too tired to kill them all, too many to immediately hypnotize. Nandor bats, at Guillermo insistence, now begins comical on-the-run and hypnosis witness tampering from the vampires. Wackiness includes decorating courtroom based on family side, sculpture and blood fountain delivery… but Guillermo somehow gets one day house arrest with his mother, Nandor does his best to arrange a tender Spa Day and they’re summoned back to night court. Night Court is of course, more nebulously supernatural and quickly kicks out of Mortal Prison into Farce with Consequences.

Mainly: Can someone explain the relationship of a rampaging slayer to his vampire former-master-warlord as they’re claiming new territory? How safe is the wider supernatural community, and are they like, a new conquering force or …another Thing? What to do about this?

Return of lawyer Lazlo, reference to hating the English during all the court proceedings (and damn isn’t this the ending of Monty Python and the Holy Grail? Seinfeld? -that was only because they were cowards that ran out of budget or wouldn’t get characters together, classic comedy half hours end with a wedding), public acknowledgement Guillermo’s a fucking slayer/serial killer to Silvia de la Cruz, seemingly friendly with Nandor and show of being peaceful amongst the crowd of supernaturals and, rather than fury of a Van Helsing, she shares she knew Memo had it bad for his boss. (Clearly, the Slayer bloodline doesn’t activate into killer mode, or is more controlled, when she understands them and isn’t surprised.)

Cue talkback scenes about an effing clip show in court as evidence, Nadja mostly focused on famous like OJ and explaining the web of who was horny when because what when presented with evidence, wearing matching wigs with Lazlo. Mimics Office Finale allowing for further commentary, still centered around present character interests. Definitely charting the course of Nandermo, getting more off camera stories of observing the Pining. Murder is framed in the context of caretaking and making Nandor horny, like they’re going out of their way to explain (to Silvia?) how involved her son is in their unit and vampire relations. Also, he’s a badass so no one fucks with him or those under his protection. Thank g- there’s this badass footage that doesn’t show Memo in too much danger or really, really hurt.

Cross examination of Nandermo by Lazlo, first kiss revealed years ago off screen, fucking all season, I love you’d exchanged but ‘I’ll be with you forever, whatever it takes’ WAS exchanged in the previous episode before battle, thus honeymoon glow and downright joyous-sexually charged battle.

Lawyer Lazlo: Do you think we have a fucking documentary crew and now we worry about courtrooms? Gizmo killed a theatre of vampires to save us and we took over the fucking council. Yes, we’re callous, we’re cruel, we’re insensitive to mortal and immortal suffering if it doesn’t concern ourselves. We’re killers, including our dramatic slayer here who’s the youngest but catching up on body count, and we’re a family. We love each other. We will protect each other. We’ll end anything that gets in our way, whatever it takes. Nandor, you’re up.

Nandor: *to put a button on the unable to drink blood, totally able to slay Guillermo arc, see previous fights up to Bunnicula, reference to be together forever, whatever it takes.*

Obviously Nandor has already discussed a big celebration for a possible yet-not-planned turning, but Guillermo suggested simple and ‘like a courthouse wedding, yes’ - Both understand the offer is on the table and Guillermo just says when he’s ready, and it’s okay if that turns out to be never. His hesitation has remained his ties with his Mom. It’s yes to all his life with Nandor, vampirism second concern when he’s accepted and ready as he can be for the consequences, specifically loosing his mom, who is not brain scramblie’d and here today, seeing all of Guillermo and his vampires.

Nandor, a strategist: welcome to our wedding!! Look at the public awe of your many conquered foes! You’re so amazing as a warrior and my closest friend. I am PROUD for EVERYONE to know you’re incredible and I’m head over heels for you, forever. Everyone includes your mom, as my family too, who is not killing all vampires on sight now! And everyone knows if they fuck with your vampire or slayer family, we’ll kill them and enjoy it together! Do you appreciate my intricate ritual of planning a wedding after you went and said yes to forever before I could propose after our many escalating battles together?

Guillermo: so, even with the documentary crew, we’ve always kept our intimacy for us. Yes, it was kinda toxic, but Nandor is my idiot, except when he’s a genius. And it feels good. To be proud of us. They celebrated me. So, let’s party.

Cut to everyone dirty, raunchy dancing, sloppy kissing, exceedingly graphic reception cut for rating. New glitter portrait of vampiric Nandor and Guillermo, kissing, sparkly bare chests in the Tigris, captioned ‘Honeymoon’

___

++Would love to see a parallel for the death of the historian in Monty Python leading to an arrest of King Arthur/Knights and the dead camera crew members leading to excessive workplace safety fines being the only lasting damage determined by the court.

+++Collin Robinson is somehow working for the prosecution, a corporate media outlet, and as expert testimony. No one is ever clear what the ‘trial’ actually is, he’s just fond of objections. Framing moves from court tv to royal wedding coverage, slowly edging the viewer wanting Nandermo confirmation about [yes, that is a glitter portrait from Nandor to Guillermo on 10 anniversary as master and familiar and here’s another one from later on their second anniversary.. of what? Well, how one can define a relationship is complex… oh! Let’s go frame by frame on these clips of their hands! ] confirming the bigger picture, Has segments devils advocating himself against Nancy Grace angry emotional vampire.

*** this is specifically a Crack!fic ideas playing with the idea all of Nandermo must be on camera, the viewer is primed for the next big step to be a confession or kiss, but what if we just jump straight to just married the dirty grinding, sloppy drunk kissing in public with all your family watching. Strikes me as a f-you to all the sweet chaste network gays, this is the suck and fuck show, babe

**** this is also a subversion of Guillermo resolving his arc as a vampire, having to be ‘ruthless’ enough, instead it’s about being assured in himself, what he wants, and cherished by those he loves. His found family accepting and making space for his family, because they care about his decisions and maybe he doesn’t have to choose, so they try. He’s gained the confidence in himself and is celebrated, welcomed, and supported by those he loves.

*****Listen, Nandor, was it kind of toxic to let your boyfriend get arrested and did you maybe plan a slaying rampage for the ‘gram- no one can quite prove, but good thinking if it was spur of the moment after the arrest, it tracks that a former warlord would yell about how awesome his spouse is and don’t fuck with us so they can have a bubble of peace due to the terror

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

which romance novels have you liked the most and also which ones have you disliked the most??

YEAH LET'S GO!!!

Helen Hoang is my absolute #1 ride or die, anything she writes I'm here for forever. I do think that Kiss Quotient is the weakest of her books, which isn't shocking from a first novel, but the sex is solid and she got SIGNIFICANTLY better for the Bride Test and the Heart Principle. those were the best romances I read in 2023 and the competition is not close, Bride Test in particular is just a heap of fun.

Alexis Hall's A Lady for a Duke is also pretty excellent, just really dreamy trans woman historical romance with the most #woke and fuckable 19th century duke who ever lived. yes the duke gets over his alcoholism and laudanum addiction way too fast. yes there's an insane shoehorned Wickham-running-off-with-Lydia style plot at the end that comes out of nowhere and doesn't really make the story better. no there's no enough sex. but who cares? just have fun with it.

I also really really enjoyed Lauren Kung Jessen's Lunar Love but like... entirely because I was reading the protagonist, Olivia, as like a Rachel Bloom Crazy Ex-Girlfriend type who's so obsessed with the Chinese zodiac because she has an undiagnosed personality disorder. that's definitely not what the intent was but I think Olivia should have been allowed to be way MORE unhinged, tbh. I think Olivia should be allowed to kill.

as for the dishonorable mentions... god.

Tessa Bailey's Unfortunately Yours is ATROCIOUS. unbearable characters and dialogue that feels like listening to a garbage disposal and sex scenes that almost ruptured my spleen because I was laughing so hard. also the premise was just. very dumb. I Cannot Handle fake relationship books where the characters are stupid about it. the only part of it I like was the female protag's mom, a frigid evil milf who could keep me like a purse dog.

speaking of fake relationships, Chencia Higgins' book D'vaughn and Kris Plan a Wedding was also a huge letdown. the premise of two strangers having to fake a relationship on a reality tv show is good silly fun but Higgins just seemed like... DEEPLY uninterested in the reality tv aspect except as an excuse for how the characters met? when camera crew politely agreed not to film D'Vaughn coming out to her family, that was some bullshit. the whole book is just really sloppy, it's very disheartening that this is like THE #1 Black lesbian romance that I see recommended because it sucks and Black lesbians deserve soooo much better.

Kiss Her Once for Me by Alison Cochrun has been one of the hardest books to read because the protagonist/POV character is just soooo whiny and insufferable. she's supposed to be a very #relatable smol bean but god she was exhausting, I couldn't stand her.

[bookshelvesandtealeaves]

✨ BOOK REVIEW ✨

D’Vaughn and Kris Plan a Wedding by Chencia C. Higgins

⭐️⭐️⭐️

[instagram]

This was a fun, sexy, emotional romance chosen for my book club this month and I’d been meaning to read it for ages. I’m glad I finally did!

I love me a reality tv romance. Especially when it’s a dating show. So throw in a FAKE WEDDING and I knew I was in for a fun time.

This book definitely covers some heavy topics such as racism and coming out, and it handles them incredibly well.

I loved the way D’Vaughn and Kris seemed to balance each other out so well. They complimented each other perfectly. They had so much chemistry right from the start and I loved watching them fall in love while planning their fake wedding.

I think I just wanted a bit more from this. It felt overly formulaic at times which is to be expected with a book like this, but I just felt it more here than others I’ve read. I also would have liked more on-page time developing D’Vaughn and Kris’s relationship a bit more. I guess I’m not much of an insta-love fan 😅